When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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