The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
