Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
