last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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