I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
