Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize