standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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