my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
