new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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