I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
