i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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