Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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