is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
