Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
