First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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