I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
babies were throwing up all over the place
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
