Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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