Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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