Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
