Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
