She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Drake has all the answers
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
