All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
