garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
