I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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