He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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