You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
