so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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