That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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