oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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