So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
