I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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