I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
