THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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