ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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