Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
