Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
