No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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