Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
