If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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