no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize