we have pet lesbian snakes
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
