3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i just google imaged poop.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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