dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
