I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
