hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all done wearing pants today
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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