I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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