started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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