im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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