I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
