he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
