wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
