oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
