so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
