im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
