i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
