Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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