So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
