I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
