Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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