i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
