you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
