There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Randomize
