I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
