I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
