the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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