you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
