one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
